The Story of my Life

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
`Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this amour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

~0~0~
Read as: Bored sa work...Tinatamad magtrabaho...gusto mag-shopping...gusto nang umalis...hehehe

I was with my college friends last night. Had dinner, played Taboo (the ever favorite!), exchanged gifts and had a few drinks (wooaaahhh!!! bago `to!) . Thanks to Jerome and Aileen who contributed beer and Iris for the Red Wine. Thanks to Iris and Edison too for allowing us to hold our party in their humble abode.

I had so much fun last night. It was something I really missed doing. Spending time with this people. After the party, I asked myself, why was I so afraid of opening up to them despite knowing each other for almost a decade. Probably because a lot has changed in me. I was the goody-goody type back in college. I smoke but not as much as Kris used to. I don't drink. I don't go out on gimmicks. My life before revolved around them and my ex-boyfriend... But now, I'm the only smoker in the group (well, Kirk is a smoker too but when Meng's around he pretend he's not *wink*...Sobrang katawa mukha ni Kirk whenever I'd smoke and he can't!)...the only gimmickera (manginginom...Jerome was even teasing me that he bought the beer for me! Eazy!)...and ang pinakasawi sa lahat!

I'm trying to open up to them now, little by little. I'm showing them who I really am and so far, the feedback is good. They understand and I believe they accept me. Nothing to be fearful about.

Here's a peak of our Christmas party. Meng haven't uploaded everything (including the Single's photo =D)...

I celebrated my 4th day with Flip, Anna, Anasan, and Lou last Monday...now, for the benefit of non-Dazers, the 4th day is the time you go down the hill to face the real world. After experiencing His overwhelming love, you are sent back to share the same love you've and live life with a renewed faith.

Went to Sidebar...hahahahaha...bisyo pa rin! At least this time, we're all happy. No angst to vent out. Just pure celebration of life.

We looked back at the year that was and realized what we've all gone through this year. Talked about the happiest moments, the best photo, the bloopers, the gigs...etc. Let's not discuss the struggles, let's take a closer look at the blessings we received this year:

Anna Santos got a post at PhilScan in April.
Anna Cuvin is transferring to a new company by next year.
Chrisse was promoted at pumapayat lalo.
Flip started his Masters in UP (Natupad din ang dream mo to study in UP)
Flow took the leap to fall inlove. (Dalaga ka na Junior!)
Lou has a new and more exciting job at People Support.
Mellay met the love of her life...Patrick.
Dan found Shelley.

My blessings are over flowing...
1. I got the consultancy job I've been expecting since November of last year.
2. I travelled thrice this year.
a. Went to Boracay in April(kahit na may last minute glitches)
b. Shanghai in October (sa wakas, natatakan na ang passport ko!)
c. Galera in March and November
3. I passed my Compre...7 subjects, all in one take! Wooohoooo...
4. I have a set of new friends...the Big Barks
5. I went to two retreats this year (Singles Encounter in March, and Days with the Lord in December)
6. Regular post in ADB (Medical Exam na ko!!!)
7. My Dad and brother are in good terms.
8. More deeper relationship with Kuya and Dad.
And the greatest blessing of all...
9. A second chance to do things right...A second chance to see how beautiful life is...

Lou posted a question to us last Monday..."WERE YOU A BLESSING TO SOMEBODY THIS YEAR?" I had trouble answering it so I'll just reverse the question..."WHO ARE THE PEOPLE WHOM YOU CONSIDER AS BLESSINGS TO YOUR LIFE?"

1. My Family...my source of love and strength. My refuge. My life.
"God has given us no greater blessing than that of belonging to a loving and loyal family - and it will be so, always and forever

2. Big Barks(Anna, Anasan, Chrisse, Flip, Flow, Lou, Mellay, Mares and Dan)...the people who proved to be more than just a kainuman...my support group...my source of inspiration and hope.
"Sometimes you can't believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you're ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too. Even when you're in the dark...even when you're falling

3. Bestfriend Mei and Michelle...for sticking it out with me. My constant confidant. The two people who knows everything about me.
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg, even though she knows that you are slightly cracked."

4. Ria...my source of faith. My prayer warrior...
"Faith is not faith, until there is nothing to hold on to

5. Ching...my travel companion. Shanghai, Galera...and soon Bangkok or Bora naman...For keeping me up on our way home from RCBC. For always wanting to hear my stories.
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an hones friend

6. Jeff, Godwin, Love and Myla...my MBA friends. I wouldn't have passed this school year's challenges without our concerted efforts...for continuously encouraging us to study.
"I get by with a little help from my friends."

7. Tsinays (Aileen, Arle, Kristine, Iris, Meng, and Sons) and their partners (Gerome, Butch, Edison, Kirk and Carter)...my goodie friends. After college, I felt I drifted from these people. I felt we lost the bond. I neglected this people for a time. But now, I am back in the loop again. =)
"No matter where life takes us, some friendships are forever."

8. Lynette and Malou...if not because of them I wouldn't be in ADB now. If not because of them my career in ADB could have ended the same time my contract expired in December 2003. They've always believed in my skills, that I can do more
"Because you believed in me, I believed in me."

I've branded the previous year as a "hell year" for me and I was about to brand this year the same for all my struggles. But after counting my blessings, I realized, its not at all that bad. I forgot to see how beautiful and rewarding this year was. I may have lost some people, but, hey...I gained so much more.

I woke up today feeling light. Looking forward to spending my weekend with the Yuppie Days with the Lord Weekend. I've attended several Weekends like this and I know that I'll have a wonderful time.

I feel that I need to renew my spiritual commitment with the Lord after all that happened in my life this year. I don't wana elaborate cause He knows. I've encountered a lot and it tested my faith in Him and I think I owe Him so much.

Despite my stubborn head, the Lord continues to shower me with blessings. Just this morning, I got a text from my officemate congratulating me for passing the final stage of the recruitment process in ADB. I am now a regular staff of ADB. Though its not yet official, I am still grateful for the people who believes in me. If my mom were still alive, she would be proud of me. I know this is her dream. She was the first person who urged me to apply in ADB. I was skeptic back then thinking that working in ADB will just be a waste of time. But now, although this is far from my undergraduate degree, I feel that it will give me exposure in developmental work. Oh well! Thank you again Lord and Mom!

Another thing to be thankful for is Kuya. He brought me to work this morning. Went out of his comfort zone to wake up early and bring me to work cause I didn't bring my car. What touched me the most during drive to work was when he handed me a gold coin (five peso coin), which I need to bring for the weekend. Muntik na ko maluha! Because since Monday, I've been looking for a shiny five-peso coin and ewan ko, pero parang pag may nakikita ako parang I don't feel complete or fulfilled with it. I don't know. But when he gave me that, yung puso ko parang biglang nag-thump out of happiness. Thanks Kuya.

Kuya, if you're reading this, I want to thank you for loving me the way you do. I am happy with the how things are doing in our family. You don't know how happy I am now that you and Dade are in good terms. Sabi ko kasi dati, I will make a way to settle your differences but I always fail, for fear of rejection siguro. But now, everything's okay. Thank you and I love you.