The Story of my Life

Another summer day
is come and gone away
in Paris and Rome
But I wana go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmm...I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you coud not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
An gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

...the pain lingers.

I took a brave move to forgive the person who has done me wrong. I wanna move on in peace. "I don't want to bring this grudge with me everyday", I said. I don't wanna wake up every morning with hatred in my heart.

"Holding anger is poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."

Everybody deserves to be forgiven. I told myself I can never forgive him. I told myself I will never give you the peace you need to be happy. You cannot be happy as long as I'm hurting. But I guess, I'm not really cut out like that...everybody deserves to be forgiven. "Thank you," he said. Go get your peace and work on your happiness.

"Lost love is still love. It takes a different form. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. When those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it...you hold it...you dance with it."

CAUTION: If you're not into mushy struff, move one to the next page...there's nothing here for you.


Love has once again changed my life (yeah I know...I never really explicitly said I was in love. Guess I was still testing the waters). After what I've been through in the past, I've closed my mind and my heart to the possibility of falling in love the same way I've done before. I've been a cynic...a man-hater of some sort...questioned every man who walks into my life...turned down every chance to fall in love.

Then, unexpectedly, lightning struck. And all of a sudden, I found myself in love much more than I loved before...for someone like me, it was an overwhelming feeling. So I seized the day. I took the plunge despite knowing that I was in for a lot of trouble. You know what, it was just so ironic...that despite knowing I'd get hurt with this person, it just felt so good and so right loving him. I knew I was gonna get hurt because I know he's gonna leave me in a few months. But I seized the day even more...I wanted to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Because afer a long time, I looked at love positively. Because after a long time, I felt I can entrust myself, my future...and my lifetime to this person. Because after hiding from my shell, I finally found the courage to step out of it and risk everything.

But as they say, even fairy tales have their endings, happy or otherwise. This one ended in quite an unexpected manner. Was I mad? Yes I was. Was I hurt? You can't imagine how hurt I was. Not the worst I guess, but it sure did leave a heavy mark.

I asked why...told myself I don't deserve this. Why did it happen to me again? Don't you guys ran out of things to hurt me? I am so fragile, didn't you even consider that? But now, I've stopped questioning. Because the answer is simple...I was at the right place but in the wrong time. Everything was just bad timing.

Oh well, that's life. I hurt less now. I can sleep well at night. But I haven't forgotten, nor have I forgiven. I know I will one day.

Love til hurts...if it hurts, love some more...if still hurts, love some more...love til it hurts no more.

"Sometimes when you sacrifice something serious, you're not losing it...you're just passing it on to someone else."

Was browsing through my phone and I read this message that was sent to me way-way back. Sharing it with everyone. Its good...makes a lot of sense...

"It has been said that when a person you love hurts you seven times, you have to forgive them seventy-seven times. It may sound exaggerated but that is the way love rili is. If we truly love a person, the gravity of his offense wouldn't matter because we still accept that person no matter how much pain his actions have brought us. You never lose hope that someday you could be together again...there's nothing wrong with that. Your love is just so encompassing that you are able to understand his wrong doings and accept his greatest frailties.

We know that you really love him but we have to realize that the love and dedication of just one person aren't enough to keep a relationship. Even if you love him, with all your heart, your relationship will not grow if he doesn't commit to you the same love and dedication that you have unfailingly given him.

Sometimes setting someone free is the only way to prove your love for that person. Only when your love is no longer bound by his commitment to you can you truly tell if he really loves you.

Sometimes you have to let him go and give yourself the chance to start over again. Let's always remember that there is nothing wrong in loving a person with all our heart. But when we allow ourselves to be stuck in that relationship because of someone who doesn't love us enough, then we are bound to miss the opportunity of finding another person who will love us the way we should be loved, and can truly make us happy."

when this f**k*ng paper is over, I will...

1. Sleep the whole day.
2. Hangout with friends.
3. Go out of town.
4. Go back to the gym.
5. Have my hair rebonded.
6. Finish reading Angels and Demons (Gggrrr...its almost a year!).
7. Hangout in SBC to read 11 Minutes (not my StraMa book!).
8. Catch up on my DVDs.
9. Hear mass at Calaruega.
10. Spend QT with...
11. Visit uhum at Pque.
12. Clean my room.
13. Garage sale.
14. Party with my classmates.
15. Shop.
16. Play badminton with the Bigbarks.
17. Food trip at UP.
18. Have a massage.
19. Watch the latest movie.
20. Love.

I'm now in my final year in grad school and this term is making me crazy. I am due to submit my final paper on Aug 17 and I still don't have all the materials I need to complete it. How can the company expect me to provide sound recommendations if they don't give me what I need? Hhhhmmm...I really want to give up but I promised my mom I'll finish this. So, You up there, if you're reading this...please, please, please squeeze out more creative ideas from my head and shower me with your grace...I need it badly!

...:::...

Have you seen "If Only"? If not, boy you're missing a lot. I haven't seen a movie that made me cry that hard. This is better than "the Notebook" I'm telling you. Effect? Makes you appreciate the people you love most. Here are my favorite lines from the movie:

Ian: How can you love someone so much and not know how to love them?
Taxi Driver: Appreciate her and what you have, just love her.

Sam: Death doesn't put an end to love.

Ian: I love you since I met you but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions out of fear, but today, because of you, because of what I learned from you every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed. And I've learned that if you do that, you're living your life fully. It doesn't matter if you have 5 minutes or 50 years. If not for you, if not for today, I would never have learned love at all. So thank you for being the person who taught me to love, and be loved.

...:::...

My song now...

you caught me by surprise
I ask you to believe me
without a lie
we'll never have to say or feel we're sorry
dont say we're sorry
soon you'll see

I'm learning
I'm learning you now

Stars fading
free falling into you

this time I'm sure what I'm looking for
and that's what I want you to know
And I won't ever let you go

And I'm ready for you now
be ready for me now
Show me love