Was going through some photos in FB when I stumbled on this one. This was taken Christmas of 2009, just a couple of weeks before Jom and I got married. It has a caption that reads: Another addition to the Odsinada Family in one week she will be Claire Fanlo- Odsinada. Naks! ta clung..
I fell in love with Jom's family the first time I met them. To date, I still have the same love and admiration to them, and more for their parents. Ma and Dad are great parents to their children. Yes, they have their own share of imperfections, but it is enough that they've molded five God-fearing and loving individuals who touch other people's lives in different ways. I know, I've committed my forever to one of them.
I hope that when Kara comes, I can be like them and my parents. I hope that I can provide and love Kara the same way that Jom and I have been loved and taken care of by them. It's a tough act to follow, but I will try.
I'm feeling down today and irritated. I'm bothered about something but got this in the mail and reminded me of what's important and how to look at things from a different perspective.
Many of the things that trouble you are not nearly as troubling as you make them out to be. Much of what frustrates you is frustrating primarily because you have chosen to see it that way.
What if you decided to see things differently? What if, instead of being so desperately troubled by all the troubles, you could simply accept them, deal with them, and move forward in your own way?
Certainly there are very real and important challenges that you must give your time and serious attention to. Yet how many of the other, more trivial things, keep you feeling down simply because you’ve blown them out of perspective?
Every so often as you go through the day, take just a moment to remind yourself how truly blessed you are. When you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself, choose to turn it around and feel sincerely thankful instead.
Even the difficulties remind you of how fully alive you are. And alive in this world of endless possibilities is a very good thing to be.
Rise above the troubles. From a perspective of gratitude, you’ll see most of them are not nearly as troubling as you once thought.
People and circumstances have been trying my patience since this day started. This morning alone, I received a text from someone that bothered me a bit. And then when I got to the office, I had another encounter with our IT support team. These are just two minor incidents that given the right amount of patience I could easily brush off. But I didn't. And now I feel bad.
I looked up a prayer for patience in the net, this is what I found.
Lord, teach me to be patient - with life, with people,and with myself.
I sometimes try to hurry things along too much,
and I push for answers before the time is right.
Teach me to trust Your sense of timing rather than my own
and to surrender my will to Your greater and wiser plan.
Help me let life unfold slowly,
like the small rosebud whose petals unravel bit by bit,
and remind me that in hurrying the bloom along,
I destroy the bud and much of the beauty therein.
Instead, let me wait for all to unfold in its own time.
Each moment and state of growth contains a loveliness.
Teach me to slow down enough to appreciate life and all it holds. Amen.
Late last year, I nursed a friend through what probably is one of the darkest days of her life after the love of her life decided to call it quits. Last monday, we had dinner with a friend who had a falling out with her friend-slash-crushie. Then today, I learned about a friend's heartbreaking story.
I hate break-ups because it always leaves a person hurt and miserable. But then again, it has to happen or life would be boring. I just wish there were less hurtful ways of breaking up.
After hearing the friend's heartbreaking story, it tore my heart to pieces. I wanted to cry for her but why would I when she was calm and composed. I used to think she was fragile. I used to think she's the type that would fall apart in the middle of the storm. But today I saw a whole new picture of her. She's going through a difficult time but her face doesn't show it. Her voice doesn't manifest it. She's a picture of a woman in total control of her mind and heart, of her life.
She made God bigger than her pain. So life goes on for her. She doesn't hold a grudge in her heart only love. She lives one day at a time and goes to where God wants her to be. She trusts Him fully. And I admire her for that.
I know that it won't be long until she finds God's greatest gift for her and when that happens, I will celebrate with her, for she deserves it. And so does my other girl friends who lost the love of their lives.
Happy happy birthday. Although today doesn’t seem like a special day because of all your stress at work and school, I hope that you feel God’s love embracing you as you reach your 32nd birthday. You’ve been a loving husband, an excited father, a caring son and a dependable friend so you deserve a peaceful and blissful day.
Today, I hope that we made you feel loved more than the way you love us. You’ve been a great husband to me and I don’t regret walking down the aisle for you. All the sacrifices you’ve made to make our family-life delightful are all appreciated. So today, I have these wishes for you, hoping that God will grant them:
I wish that your client will be kinder to you today.
I wish that God brings out an aura of peace and compassion to you so that your client will be infected by it.
I wish that your Professor will somehow extend the deadline of submission of plates to give you more time to work on it.
I wish that the weather won’t be too hot today while your at the site so you won’t feel stinky and dirty while doing your job.
I wish that you’ll have enough energy to sustain you today despite the lack of sleep from working late for your plates.
I wish that the traffic to work will not be as bad as it normally is so you can be there early.
I wish that your new project will go smoothly and that your new clients will be as warm as the previous couple you worked with.
I wish you’ll have another project by mid-year.
I wish that Struktura will be stronger and bigger in the design industry this year.
I wish that you’ll never get tired of my cooking nor bringing out the trash as needed.
I wish that you can learn how to efficiently juggle your time for work, school family and self. I’m not complaining, I just wish that you can do the things you want without sacrificing others that are equally important.
I wish that you’ll be as patient as always with my tantrums, kakulitan and non-sense.
I wish that you’ll never get tired of puttig me to sleep everytime you need to stay up late for work and school.
I wish that this year, you’ll have more time for exercise so you can be as fit as you once were. Hehe
I wish that you’ll learn to regularly drink your vitamins. :)
I wish that you’ll learn how to cook. Hehehe
I wish that you’ll eventually learn how to read to our children, with emotion and enthusiasm. :)
I wish that our first born will be a healthy baby boy so that he can be just like you…responsible, caring and loving. What a joy that would be if I had two men caring for me! Bu if God wills to have a baby girl, I hope that she’ll be as malambing as you want her to be, hugging and kissing you when your stressed, and lovingly removes your socks when you’re too tired and sleepy to take them off by yourself.
And most, importantly, I wish that you feel how much love I have for you everyday of our lives together.
There’s so much more I’d want for you to have but this will be a loooooooong post if I write them all in, so I will stop here.
These and many more made up our first year as husband and wife. No words can describe how happy marrying Jerome has made me, and now that we are expecting a little angel, I know its gonna be double the happiness I feel now.
I still can’t believe that growing inside of me is God’s most precious gift to Jom and I. We’ve been waiting for this for quite sometime and now that it’s here we can’t thank Him enough for this wonderful blessing.
After a few months of trying to conceive, I think I was already near the end of it. Jom or more like I, was already feeling the pressure and that makes trying less enjoyable. He knew I was this close to giving up because He saw me sobbing in my little corner. So the next time I visited my OB, which was a couple of weeks before my birthday, He answered our prayers. He took His time answering other people’s prayers and when it was our turn, it was the perfect time.
And once again, He proved that everything we desire will be given to us in His perfect time. And if He doesn’t or He delays, it means He’s planning a great surprise.
No words can describe how excited I am with this gift from God and the many things this child will bring into our lives. Jom and I already feel blessed having been happily and peacefully together for several months, and this gift from God will surely bless our marriage even more.
When I was growing up, I had a love-hate relationship with my dad. He thinks I am rebellious and out of control, and I think he is unreasonable. He thinks I will bring nothing but humiliation to the family, and I think he is unfair. He was hard on me, but that same fact inspired me to do well and be good.
In the middle of our war was my mom. My dad was never confrontational when it comes to us, his children. So whenever he has issues with us he'd talk to my mom and my mom will talk to us, which means we never had a chance to have a dialogue to sort out our issues. His means is my mom, my way is by letters. There were a couple of times I would write him a letter to air out my side which would lessen the tension, but after sometime we'll be back to square one.
He only loosened up a few years after I graduated. Since then, I had more liberty to do the things I want. And although he would still remind me of the effects of my vices, his approach became more subtle and loving. We became more vocal about our feelings on certain issues and we were saying i-love-yous to each other more often.
These days I get to spend more quality time with him. And the more I talk to him, the more I understand and appreciate the kind of man that my father is. He may not be the best father there is, but at the end of the day he is still my father. He is still unreasonable at times, but somehow I managed to embrace his imperfections. He may not be the smartest, loving, patient or richest father there is, but I love him just the same.
When I thought about this post, what I had in mind was our most recent purchases, the ones that husbo referred in his facebook as "getting what we want". Then I realized, those were not the only purchases we've had in the last five months. We've had both major and minor purchases that created a huge dent on our savings.
Whenever we’d think about it, we laugh and tease each other about our spendings. We spend as if we're millionaires, purchasing items and properties at whim. But not to worry, of course all of our purchases have been well thought of. We’d like to believe, it is part of the building-our-future kind of thing that newly married couples go through.
Let me share with you what these items are.
Notebook
You know I'm not techie, right? The last time I bought an electronic gadget was in June 2006, my dear digicam and ipod, which I hardly use nowadays. As a non-techie person, you won't be surprised to know that I don't have my own computer at home. Yes, I don’t. I've been planning to buy my own desktop or notebook, since 2006 but I have this strict budget and specs requirement for a personal computer that if it goes beyond that I get easily turned off.
It really pays to wait because just a few months ago, I found the right notebook computer that perfectly fit my requirements. She's pre-owned, but she looks brand new. She was initially priced at 23k but got her for 20k. She has 4GB RAM, 160GB hard disk, and Intel Core Duo CPU. I think with the specs I don't have to worry about it konking out anytime soon. I know I named her before, but I completely forgot what I baptized her with so I am calling her Dei. Here she is.
Tick-tock
My ever reliable and favorite dress watch stopped ticking. This watch was given to me by dad sometime in 2004. It's an automatic Sandoz dress watch so the problem can't be battery. I had it checked in a watch repair shop in Megamall and the repairman said there's a problem with the mechanism, and repairing it would cost about P2,000. I took it home and never went back.
I found a replacement but it was way above my budget. But because I really wanted it I made a deal with Jerome that I'll use my June and July allowance as seed money for my watch fund. He agreed but he said I should save up for the rest.
Finally, last month, as we were strolling around Megamall, Jerome asked me where I stand in terms of the watch fund. I told him I'm still short by this amount and he said, let's go get it. He was going to fill up the gap (but he said, it was also an advance birthday gift). Yey! And I went home that night wearing a pretty watch around my wrist.
Vroom vroom
Sometime ago (before we got married), whenever I'd borrow husbo's notebook I'd see several internet pages showing a car advertisement. I remember asking him before if he was really getting a new car and he'd outrightly say no. But recently, he's been keeping an eye on the new Tucson. He drools whenever he sees one so I thought he was keen on getting that one. Only to be surprised one day when he told me we were going to check out a bimmer that was on sale at Tsikot.com. Everything happened so fast. We checked the car Monday afternoon. It was ours Thursday afternoon.
The first driving experience was funny. We were going to gas up but couldn't find the knob to open the tank. And whenever something would light up on the panel, we'd panic and end up consulting the manual. Thank God for the manual. I tried driving the car and what do you know, my legs are too short for the pedal! Hahahahaha! I can reach the pedal naman but I have to extend my legs to fully press it. Other than that the car is a winner!
So we now have 3 cars at home. But husbo said, we're going to dispose one of the old cars to cover part of the purchase cost. I thought it was a good idea considering that both our cars are more than 10 years old. They both need to be disposed.
Home sweet home
Yes, you got it right. The major purchase was a home for our family.
The idea came up when I found out that I can already avail of a housing loan. Plus with the amount of rent we are paying now, we can already get a unit of our own and the monthly amortization will more or less be of the same amount.
The place we got was at Cedar Crest in Taguig, just across Fort Bonifacio Global City. It’s a mid-rise condo developed by DMCI. What we love about DMCI developments is that their buildings have atriums allowing natural light to pass through and air to flow in. The compound also has extra facilities like swimming pool, function rooms for your parties, a park, gym, basketball court etc. All these give you the feel of living in a real subdivision.
Our unit will be turned-over to us May 2011. But when we drove by the area earlier they’ve already started constructing our building. I’m starting to get excited about the prospect of going home to a beautiful and happy home with our kids waiting for us. Oh and the kids, that one is a work-in-progress.
One of my non-negotiable for our wedding was that we write our own vows. Which I learned was not an easy task because every time I would start writing my vows, I would break down. And my heart will be filled with gratitude, for him and for Jess, for the immense love they have shown and showered me. I didn't want to be specific about how I would love him because what I know might not be right and important for him. All I want is to be the wife that Jess wants me to be for him.
The exchange of vows was one of my favorite parts of the wedding. All my insecurities, all my fears, and all the doubts I had in my heart vanished hearing Jerome say his vows. Here's the complete transcript of his vows:
Hi Claire. You’re so pretty today.
I remember, 5 yrs ago, in 2005 also on a January, we met in graduate school. We became groupmates & barkada. 2 years later, after countless gimmicks, parties and events, we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. Another 2 yrs as a happy couple, going on out-of-trips and traveling, and spending so many occasions together, here we are now in front of God, our families and closest friends, announcing our decision and promise to be with each other for the rest our time
Claire, I love you.
Starting today---- always remember these 4 letters which will remind you of my love and commitment to you. (Don’t worry, it doesn’t start with L).
E …as in -- ENJOY. We will enjoy every moment of our journey together. I look forward and I’m so excited, to starting a new life with you, and our future kids. To building our new house, buying our first car, and traveling abroad (just like my mom and dad). I know its not all going to be happy moments, but I’m sure, we will get past all those, as we have survived trials in the past. (…of course with the help and love, of all the people here with us today).
N NURTURE. I will nurture you and take care of you and the kids, be supportive of your work and hobbies, and continue to spoil you as much as I can.
G GOD. God will be a cornerstone of our family life. let us continue to let GOD be in the middle of everything. Ever since, everything in my life has been drafted and planned, and I have been following a strict schedule, just like I treat all my projects. I knew until when I’ll be employed, when I'll start my own business, how much I'll be making, and how I’m going reach my personal goals. Everything was according to my blueprints-- except you. It,s because God had other plans, and gave me, more than what I asked for – He’s giving me not just a wife, but a best friend and a perfect life partner.
R REMIND. As agreed, remind me to give you- your monthly allowance - for your visits to the salon, your massages, night-outs with friends, and for you travel & shopping. (but of course I will also remind, you that everytime wala ako projects – sagot mo ko and ikaw ang bahala saken). More importantly, aside from reminding each other of the things we always forget, or about our bad habits that we want to change, lets try to reassure each other every now and then, that we love each other, that we are one, and that we’re in this together, until our last breath…
Every day I thank the Lord for leading Jerome to my path. Everyday I thank the Lord for giving me hurt and pain because I would not be able to appreciate life and love the way I do now. I would do it over again if at the end of it all, Jerome is right there waiting for me. I am not perfect.
We're 5 months married now, and every morning I wake up beside him I feel the same love and appreciation for this great blessing God has given me. Thank you Lord.
I've been with ADB for 7 years now. 2 years in another department and 5 years in the current. On my second year in my current department, I've already started applying for a promotion. At that time, I didn't know that, aside from skills, senior staff are given priority in terms of promotion – senior meaning their length of stay in the organization. The longer you are in your current position, the better are you chances to get promoted. Another plus factor is that you have to continuously apply because it gives Management the impression that you seriously want to move up. So I applied and applied, but to no avail.
When a position opened up in our department, I thought about it several times. I had to consult other people whether I should apply or not, most of them said I should go for it regardless of who the contenders were. But what really convinced me was when I consulted my former boss, who's now in Nepal, of what would be the best thing to do. Coming from her I know it would be a little biased, considering that we've had a very good working relationship while she was here, but I also know her to be fair and straight forward. And that she'd tell me, honestly, if there was anything I should improve on. Her opinion gave me so much to think about, and more importantly, she made my self-esteem move a notch higher.
Thankfully, all the preparations paid off and I got the promotion (I almost didn't apply for this promotion, would you believe?!). Finally! After more than four years of waiting, I got the promotion I wanted. The icing on the cake is, I was going to support a cool guy. Then I realized it was good that I didn't get promoted in all the positions I applied for in the past, because God has something better for me.
A couple of months after our engagement, I came face to face with one of my life's greatest challenges to date. Dad got hospitalized due to kidney failure. Both his kidneys have stopped working and the doctors recommended he undergoes dialysis 3x a week. This is one of things I feared most. That's why whenever he would get sick, I was always the first to worry, and that's why I have always been the police when it comes to his diet and medicines.
Since my mom passed away, I have always prayed for my loved ones' good health, primarily because I can't imagine losing another one of them. I am just not ready for that. Not yet.
I heard so many horror stories about dialysis. How it cripples a person's life because of the time spent in the hospital; 3x a week dialysis can also be financially exhausting for the family; and the complications resulted by the procedure is scary.
Dad knows all about these things. So when we brought him to the operating room to get his fistula installed, his lines were "Anak, I'm sorry. Ginawa ko naman lahat. Sorry Anak. Kung hindi nyo naman ako ipapa-transplant, hindi na lang ako magpapadialysis." It broke my heart seeing him hopeless and ready to give up. But I had to be strong. I have no idea where we would get the money to support his dialysis, all we had in mind was to give him immediate relief.
For 7 months, my dad was in and out of the hospital. We were exhausted, emotionally and financially. It was emotionally tormenting. And we were already contemplating on selling some properties to defray some of the medical expenses. There were days I would suddenly cry while at work whenever I'd remember his condition. There were days I was just hopeless and desperate to the point that I want to run away from everything.
In the time of my desperation, God would make miracles here and there. And it would bring my sanity back. First, our request for financial support from PCSO was granted. They gave us half of the amount we needed to kick off my dad's kidney transplant. They gave us P1,000,000. Yes, P1,000,000!!! For heaven's sake, you can't get that amount of money easily. Without the grant, we would be totally broke by now. Thank you Lord.
Next, there were friends and relatives who gave financial support to my dad. Friends from DWTL and ADB organized fundraisers for my dad, my brother's friends also pooled in some money for him. And there were some who gave money outright. All of these helped our family. One professional staff in ADB, whom I haven't met, made his wife's birthday party a fundraiser. Isn't that wonderful?
After the financial aide from PCSO, family and friends, there was the kidney donor whose kidney was a perfect match to my dad's. He is a family man in his 30s. Doctors said we were lucky to have found a healthy and perfect kidney match. Other patients spend a fortune and wait for years to find a match. But this one passed instantly. And as we speak, my dad is healthy and strong.
At the end of the day, I realized that love, indeed, can move mountains. The same way that Jerome's love moved me, or our love for our dad made us do anything and everything possible to save him... and God's amazing and enormous love for us made all of these possible. When all hope is lost, God's love remains.
For the past four months, Jom and I have been going to malls looking for the right furniture that will fit in his condo. That’s what’s keeping us busy. (Yes, Jom will be moving out from his parent’s house to live on his own.) We’ve been through every furniture shop in every mall and depot in Makati, Quezon City and Ortigas, and very few designs caught his attention. But last Sunday, while Typhoon Frank was making his way out of Manila, we (more like “he” -- I was there for second opinion, no financial investment) found and bought the last piece of furniture we need to make the living room more functional (meaning pwedeng kainan, upuan etc.).
Yesterday, his staff started working on the interior of the condo. And today, he said that the dining table and cabinet have been delivered, while the sofa (which was supposed to be due in two weeks) will be delivered on Friday. Soon, he'll be living there full time.
I'm proud of him for this achievement. A couple of years ago, he mentioned this as one of his future plans (over booze), and now he’s almost there. Who would have thought that wasn't usapang lasing?
Great job, Hon! Hope I’ll still get to see you even though you’ll be living at the far end of EDSA.
We took a break from all the fun and summer getaways we've been doing the past couple of weekends to spend time and serve Kuya Jess through the Yuppie Days with the Lord.
This is one of the most memorable Weekends I had with Days as I was turned over to being Rector. The highness of all highs. I was dead tired when I got home, but it was all worth it. Being called to serve Jess this way is a great honor that I will forever cherish and be grateful for.
Love is knowing you will spend every day, of every week, of every month, of every season, of every year for the rest of your life with this person, and thinking, "This is exactly what I want".
Marriage doesn't promise a smooth sailing ride. It will be a rollercoaster like it was before. You may still feel a deep and abrupt plunge at times. One that makes your stomach sick. Other times, you will be on top and nothing can put you down. Like you hold the world in the palm of your hands. But through it all, know that God is with you. And as my friend put it "you were brought together by God and it is only by His grace that you will remain together".
So here, the long and short of what I want to say is the family that prays together, stays together. :-))
Seriously, congrats Marsy! I'm happy for both of you. We look forward to your silver. :-)
Take twelve whole months. Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy. Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.
Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts, but don't make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients. Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness. Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cup full of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love. Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness.
Been having paranoia attacks again. I know I have absolutely no reason to question, to doubt or whatever, naghahanap lang talaga ako ng sakit ng katawan. I don't want to ruin what I have now so starting today, I promise myself...
For the past couple of months, I’ve been watching things unfold. Living each day as they come. Cherishing each moment. Embracing it. It felt like the universe conspired to bring us together. Everything felt so right. I’ve waited so long for this and I can’t let it slip away. So I seized it.
I’m extremely happy and I want everyone to know. I love this man and I will do everything to make this work.
I don't have time to update my blog so will just post some pics of what's keeping my world spinning. So many happenings, ergo sooooooooooooo little time to sleep.
Game 1 of the UAAP Finals Highlight: DLSU won by 1 pt.!!!
Post game drinks with Friends Highlight: Sharing of favorite movie titles
McDonald's Birthday Party with OGC peeps
Highlight: "Ngayon lang ako nakapag-party sa Jollibee."
Des' birthday get together Highlight: Hot seat!
Sat Night @ Gweilos
Highlights: Secret Club and I've Never...Interesting!
Ziggy's Birthday @ Bounce
HIGHLIGHT: We watched the UAAP finals during the party. hehehe
Was going through some photos in FB when I stumbled on this one. This was taken Christmas of 2009, just a couple of weeks before Jom and I got married. It has a caption that reads: Another addition to the Odsinada Family in one week she will be Claire Fanlo- Odsinada. Naks! ta clung.. 
