It's the time of the year again that memories of mom's passing come to mind. It is the time of the year that her memories are at its strongest. Everything seems so real. Memories of her last hospital days with us are so vivid it brings me tears. Even if I try to shove off her image at the hospital, it always finds its way to invoke grief. Whether I'm driving or talking to someone, I think of it and I remember her last breath.
It will be four years on July 27. The first two years was an ordeal. Seeing her friends, talking to her relatives and going home without nobody waiting were emotionally tormenting. I wanted to evade such conversation but I can't help it. I find both joy and sadness talking to them. It brings good memories of the kind of person she was when she was still alive, and that makes me proud as a daughter. But all these makes me miss her that it pains me.
Now, the pain is lesser and the stories are shorter. When I think of her and when I talk about her I try hard to drive out the sadness and just be grateful for the 24 years I spent with her, the values she taught me, the strength I inherited from her and the love that she has given us.
I will always remember her, for everything that she has done to make me who I am today and for everything that she is. I pray earnestly that when the time comes that I have my own children, I could pay it forward.
It will be four years on July 27. The first two years was an ordeal. Seeing her friends, talking to her relatives and going home without nobody waiting were emotionally tormenting. I wanted to evade such conversation but I can't help it. I find both joy and sadness talking to them. It brings good memories of the kind of person she was when she was still alive, and that makes me proud as a daughter. But all these makes me miss her that it pains me.
Now, the pain is lesser and the stories are shorter. When I think of her and when I talk about her I try hard to drive out the sadness and just be grateful for the 24 years I spent with her, the values she taught me, the strength I inherited from her and the love that she has given us.
I will always remember her, for everything that she has done to make me who I am today and for everything that she is. I pray earnestly that when the time comes that I have my own children, I could pay it forward.
This is the last photo I have of her (taken two weeks before her...)
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