The Story of my Life

as promised, here are some of our photos from our latest beach escapade:

FIRST DAY: Travel Time
Departed Manila - approximately 2:oo pm
Arrived Kalibo - approximately 3:30 pm

Henna time and party til 4:00 am....



about to get off the plane...




first night on the beach...



dinner at Pier One

~o0o~

SECOND DAY: Beach Time
On to the Beach by 10:00 am
Lunch at Steak House
Volleyball game with locals...hahaha
Last night partying at Cocomangas


the Beachaholics


lou and me



ssshhh....espasol ako



right after that luscious meal at Steak House



on to volleyball...ang pumalag patay!



playing with the sunset...

~o0o~

and the ultimate beachaholic of all...the little mermaid!!!!



and this is one hell of a miracle...ang galing ng photographer! Thanks Shelley!




~o0o~

last night...ang mga ibang utaw...kumota! hahaha

There is such a thing as free lunch.

My classmates and I had a boring class last saturday. We haven't had lunch together for 3 weeks so we all decided to treat ourselves to a nice meal at The Old Spaghetti House.

Chickahan and all...shared stories about our respective dates. And after exhausting all our kwentos, we were still bored and sleepy. So we decided it was time to wrap it up and just head home. We got the bill from the server and we were shocked after being told that.."Ma'am, okay na po ang bill nyo." Somebody paid for our bill!!!

And that did it...the boring lunch, turned out to be an exciting one. Sleepy? None of us were sleepy. Nobody wanted to go home. And because we didn't pay for anything, we decided to have coffee just so we could spend for something. hehehe

So, who is this mysterious guy trying to play tricks on me...As I was told, this guy paid for our bill because I looked familiar to him (yeah right!). Left ONLY his number....there yah go, some tricks men play. I assume he knew that picking up someone in a restaurant, in broad daylight, won't work. And what would be a good way? Pay for their lunch and just leave your number...of course, after a free lunch, it would be rude not to say thank you. So there, I texted him to say thank you...and gave away my number. Hahahaha...

Okay, so just so you know...This guy does not, in any way, look familiar to me.

Anyway, the style was really something...and what made it even more daring is this guy was with his girlfriend at that time! So, while his girlfriend was in the powder room trying to look good for him, this guy was giving instructions to the server and pointing at my direction (yeah, he was. I saw him from my peripheral.hehehe). Meeeennnn!!!!

I'm so amazed, not that I was kilig or anything, but because this is new to me. I've never given my number to a complete stranger. But this guy...left me with no choice. I had to give it to him. But it's all cool. Had a free lunch anyway. hehehe

He tried to call me. But I didn't take the call. I felt that, that would be way to far. I thanked him for the lunch and I think that would be enough. My friends told me I should text back and just play along. Get to know him or something...But I'm sorry....call me boring or whatever you want, but its just not my style. I won't go for it.

Makes me think again...how can some men be such a player? Aren't there decent men left? How do men manage to play around when they're committed....hhhmmm...

Spent the long weekend in Bora. It was a blast...as always! =) A lot of things happened. I can't tell you though...Cause happened in Bora, stays in Bora. Hahahaha..what a teaser! Let's just say, our two new Bora buddies hooked up with Anemals...este "Alemans". hehehehe...Others, where just there rekindling the memories of our very first Bora escapade.

I had fun too. Enjoyed the sun. Made love with the camera. =) Enjoyed Jonah's shake. Gave in to Illusion shaker. Danced to my heart's desire...I feel like I'm a different person when I'm in Bora. I lose all my inhibitions and sanity. hehehe Carefree...wild...naughty...daring...hahahaha...I love bora!

Anyway, Bora brought back memories of the person I met there. And as I told Lou and Anna, I sort of missed him. The pick-up line, the "water", the small talks, and the panghahalay at pag-aalaga, and the post-bora messages. Fun memories. I'd be a hypocrite not to admit that Bora wouldn't be as much fun had I not bumped into this guy. It was a trip to remember indeed...Although, I violated the bora golden rule: "whatever happens in bora, stays in bora"...and brought it to Manila. The rest is history.

Now, that would just be a part of the entire Bora experience. A lot of things happened this year. For me, it was a trip to memory lane and once again...a trip to insanity. heheheh

I'll post photos later.

I'm moving forward. Today is my last day in OER, where I spent my first two years in ADB. From External Relations, I'm moving to Legal Operations. Hhhhmmm...two different field of work. Well, its okay. At least now, I got a regular post.

I'm both happy and sad. Happy that finally I got a regular jog in ADB. I'm sure mom's proud of me now. Mom, is this enough to compensate for being naughty in the past? hehehe....Sad becuase I'm leaving OER. The people I worked with here are amazing. Relationship is founded on respect, understanding, cooperation, and love. We're such a small department, compared to the others in the bank. But I can say that being small allows you to mingle more with people. I love the people here. I've never worked for anybody who has this kind of harmonious relationship. I'm surely gonna miss the people.

As I was packing my things, I dawned on me that this is indeed real. And I suddenly felt nervous. I'm nervous cause I don't know what's instore for me. I don't know who I'm gonna be with and what its like up there.

Nervous because, I really find it difficult adjusting. I'm the type of person who hates changing environment. When I get used to something, I find it hard to change it or leave it or move on to another place. That's why, I hangout only in places I feel most comfortable staying. I'm not the type who would go to different places. If I do that, it usually takes a lot of time and a lot of convincing. hehehe Other times, I do it because I've no choice. Notice that I use the same bag and shoes most of the time...when I change it, its because I'd look like an idiot if I don't. hahaha Notice also, that I shop only in places near to me...Drink in Sidebar or in Timog (places near to me, as well)...Hangout with the same friends...Eat in the same restaurant, and order the same food every time. =)

I hate changing...aaamm...hate is such a strong word. Sige...I just don't like changing. I sort of built a comfort zone around me. It gives me the feeling that when I'm within my comfort zone there's no risk of whatever. I'll surely love the food I order... I'll find what I need to buy... I'll feel confident wearing this or that...Etc...Get my point? hehehehe...

Anyway, I think I need to do something about that. Because change is inevitable. And if I want to enjoy life, I have to explore the world. hahaha...Ciao!

Some songs I've been listening to lately:

::..Broken by You..::
First lonely night
what will I do
I feel my heart breaking in two
I'm such a fool
When will I learn
I fell so deep
Then I got burned

If you gave me just one reason why
My heart just might let go
Maybe one day I will fall In love again
But for now, I'll just leave my heart in two

If I never fall in love again
If I never touch your skin again
If I never feel again this way
If I never see another day
Remember me
Remember this
'Cause one thing that will never change
Is the feeling in my heart
so broken by you.

::..Both Sides Now..::
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
from up and down, and still somehow
it's could illusions I recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say "I love you" right out loud,
dreams and schemes and circus crowds,
I've looked at life this way.
But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

::..How could you say you love me..::
How can you hurt me this way
Everthing I knew was loving you
How could you try pretending

How, how could you say you love me
When you will go and leave me
How could you make me hurt so bad
When I have loved you more than anyone can do
Can't believe the pain
That I'm feeling now because of loving you

::..Galileo..::
How long `til my soul gets it right?
Could any human being ever reach that kind of light?
I call on the resting soul of Galileo
King of night vision, king of insight

When shit happens...

I had everything planned last night. After work, I'd go straight to the gym, go home early and read my book (by the way, I'm reading the Alchemist again cause I feel I need to be inspired...I postponed reading Angels and Demons kasi wala lang...lost interest I guess). Anyway, as I was on my way, I couldn't find my car key. I walked to my car hoping that my key's not there, that I left it in my drawer or somewhere...But no!!!!!!! It was there...still stuck in the keyhole! The engine is off, but not the battery...and that was like 12 f***king hours!!!!!!!

Okay...okay...No need to panic Claire. We can get someone to help you open the door. You don't have to wait long. Okay, so I called for help from the bank car staff. But I was referred to Master Lock instead. They said they can fix it in an hour. Wow! Impressive...so how much do I have to pay? "550 ma'am"...huuuuwwwaaaatttthhh!?!?!?!?! No way! (hehehe...yeah kuripot ako!) Instead of spending 550, I decided to wait for my brother to bring the spare key(who at that time wasn't responding to my messages...nag-gym siguro). Because even if Master Lock gets to open the door, the battery would be dead anyway...it wouldn't make things better.

I was settled with the idea that I'll leave my car in the office and just wait for my brother to pick me up. While waiting for him, I stayed in the veranda with RJ and some officemates who were drinking. So I drank. Red wine? "Aaahhh, that's nothing." I thought. So I drank...and drank...and drank...My last glass? I drank it straight cause my brother texted me that he was just a few minutes away.

So...can you guess what happened when I got home? I threw up three times....three times...three freaking times!!!! For a moment there I thought I'd puke my brains out. Hehehehe...exaj! But, yeah, it was really awful. Ang sakit ng tyan ko kagabi at umiikot ang mundo ko!

So there goes the story of my shitty night...Lesson learned? Don't drink Franzia. hahahaha...Naahhh...Drink moderately. That's the lesson.

Ooh..and my car? Up and running.

After having a weird and boring weekend, I just felt I needed a break. So come Monday, instead of going to the gym, I decided to hangout with my officemates. I thought it would be a good idea to do so...especially that they feel I haven't been spending time with them. Its time I make-up for lost times.

I was so in the mood to drink that despite not having enough money to last til the next payday, I bought a bottle of Kurant. It was one hell of a night. I enjoyed their company and not only that, I was able to tell them my frustrations about how I feel they don't understand my situation. Fortunately, they understood. I feel so light now. Thanks Mars, Rj and Edward. Too bad I wasn't able to take pictures.

Incidentally that night was a full moon (did I say it right? how do you even describe a night with a full moon? help!hahaha). I dunno if its the alcohol or the moon, but it made the night more fun...they say that on a full moon people get a little wacko (and that's what it did to me!) I love starry nights (have you seen the sky from the beach? its a winner!) and full/crescent moon ...probably because I have an excuse to become a little crazy... hehe...

I couldn't contain the feeling that night and the next thing I know I was texting my friends, telling them to look at the sky. I was so mesmerized by its beauty. I have never seen it that beautiful. The clouds around it formed one big circle as if protecting the moon from external forces or whatever. hehehe...I'm not a really good writer. I can't describe it. I took a picture of the moon that night but the figure of the clouds circling the moon wasn't clear...

I got this from the e-mail. This speech was mistakenly credited to several people from Baz Luhrman to Kurt Vonnegut. But it was actually written by Mary Schmich, released through Chicago Tribune on 01 June 1997.

Its a good speech. It reminds you of the most essential things in life. Gives you advises on how to cope with life. Read on...

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or
reliable then then my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice...now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won't understand and
beauty of your yourth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years,
you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed you worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be recless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The reace is long, and in the end, its only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (If you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; its the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Life in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Life in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal -- wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, I'm the sunscreen.

Hhhhmmm....Aaaammmm....Haaayyy....I feel so weird. I don't know where this feeling is coming from. I can't keep focus on what I was doing earlier. I don't have the same interest, to study, as I had three weeks earlier. Aaarrrggghhh! Help!

I want to write something. I want to express what I'm feeling but I don't know where to start. I'm bored. I wana go out. I wana have a drink or two. I wana watch a movie. But something else is telling me to stay at home. I feel soooooooo weird!

Anyway, so here goes. I was a bit frustrated with some friends a week ago. I'm pushing my ass to get serious with my studies, work, and with working out. I promised myself that this year, I'd be going out less. Cut down on alcohol and smokies. So, God with all His might, happy that His daughter has finally decided to come home, gave me every reason to do so. Gave me tons of school paper, a series of meetings, and pile of work to be busy with. But when you get so serious doing this stuff and you begin to decline invitations from people whom you used to go out with...what do you get? Nasty comments. Am I just pikon? Or the reactions were really off? For me it was bad. Really off. My point is, school and work is difficult as it is. Don't make it more difficult for me by giving me harsh reactions. The last thing I want is someone telling me "pero pag lalaki." Hell! That was way off.

I told my friend about this and she was helpful. Medyo napacify naman ako. So now, I'm okay. The hell I care about what people say. The hell I care about what you think! I'm gonna do my stuff, and you can't stop me. =)

I went out with an acquaintance the other day. I find it weird at first. Because first, I haven't seen this guy. I've only seen his picture in Friendster. I only talk to him online. We're not even texting or calling each other. I haven't even heard his voice. And the weirdest of all...I'm going out (well, gone out cause it was done) alone with him. Weird because I really don't go out on dates. For some reason, natatakot ako to be alone with someone on the first date. But I went ahead, holding on to the "gasgas" words of my dear friend..."Mag-eenjoy ka sa company niya Claire". And thinking that I could always call for help in case I need one! hehehe

Being the paranoid that I am, I was vigilant (hahaha...wat a word!) all through out...ready to smack this guy on the face, just in case he does something silly. hehehe

Fortunately, he was really nice. Courteous and funny (reeeeaaallly funny). Had dinner at Fat Michael's Place, shared a few cigarette and headed to greenhills to have a few drinks with his friends. Did I say a few drinks? Naaahhh...It wasn't just a few drinks. We drank a lot. And this is just the first date huh? Tsk..tsk..tsk...Bad Girl. Nabigla ata ako sa friends nya when they asked me how much I drink. Nesa I was just kidding when I said I drink 6-7 bottles per gig. hahaha...And that Yero shaker was lethal! It taste good, yeah...but the hangover the next day was awful!

In general, it was a fun night. It didn't turn out disastrous as I thought it would. I think I'll do it again. Without the Yero shaker this time. ;-) hahaha

To cap off our Sidebar stint for the year and to thank the crew for providing excellent service on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday night...(alright...alright...there was a pt. we went there nightly...after a long and exhausting day at work)...we gave away Christmas Hams to 18 hardworking servers.

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
`Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this amour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

~0~0~
Read as: Bored sa work...Tinatamad magtrabaho...gusto mag-shopping...gusto nang umalis...hehehe

I was with my college friends last night. Had dinner, played Taboo (the ever favorite!), exchanged gifts and had a few drinks (wooaaahhh!!! bago `to!) . Thanks to Jerome and Aileen who contributed beer and Iris for the Red Wine. Thanks to Iris and Edison too for allowing us to hold our party in their humble abode.

I had so much fun last night. It was something I really missed doing. Spending time with this people. After the party, I asked myself, why was I so afraid of opening up to them despite knowing each other for almost a decade. Probably because a lot has changed in me. I was the goody-goody type back in college. I smoke but not as much as Kris used to. I don't drink. I don't go out on gimmicks. My life before revolved around them and my ex-boyfriend... But now, I'm the only smoker in the group (well, Kirk is a smoker too but when Meng's around he pretend he's not *wink*...Sobrang katawa mukha ni Kirk whenever I'd smoke and he can't!)...the only gimmickera (manginginom...Jerome was even teasing me that he bought the beer for me! Eazy!)...and ang pinakasawi sa lahat!

I'm trying to open up to them now, little by little. I'm showing them who I really am and so far, the feedback is good. They understand and I believe they accept me. Nothing to be fearful about.

Here's a peak of our Christmas party. Meng haven't uploaded everything (including the Single's photo =D)...

I celebrated my 4th day with Flip, Anna, Anasan, and Lou last Monday...now, for the benefit of non-Dazers, the 4th day is the time you go down the hill to face the real world. After experiencing His overwhelming love, you are sent back to share the same love you've and live life with a renewed faith.

Went to Sidebar...hahahahaha...bisyo pa rin! At least this time, we're all happy. No angst to vent out. Just pure celebration of life.

We looked back at the year that was and realized what we've all gone through this year. Talked about the happiest moments, the best photo, the bloopers, the gigs...etc. Let's not discuss the struggles, let's take a closer look at the blessings we received this year:

Anna Santos got a post at PhilScan in April.
Anna Cuvin is transferring to a new company by next year.
Chrisse was promoted at pumapayat lalo.
Flip started his Masters in UP (Natupad din ang dream mo to study in UP)
Flow took the leap to fall inlove. (Dalaga ka na Junior!)
Lou has a new and more exciting job at People Support.
Mellay met the love of her life...Patrick.
Dan found Shelley.

My blessings are over flowing...
1. I got the consultancy job I've been expecting since November of last year.
2. I travelled thrice this year.
a. Went to Boracay in April(kahit na may last minute glitches)
b. Shanghai in October (sa wakas, natatakan na ang passport ko!)
c. Galera in March and November
3. I passed my Compre...7 subjects, all in one take! Wooohoooo...
4. I have a set of new friends...the Big Barks
5. I went to two retreats this year (Singles Encounter in March, and Days with the Lord in December)
6. Regular post in ADB (Medical Exam na ko!!!)
7. My Dad and brother are in good terms.
8. More deeper relationship with Kuya and Dad.
And the greatest blessing of all...
9. A second chance to do things right...A second chance to see how beautiful life is...

Lou posted a question to us last Monday..."WERE YOU A BLESSING TO SOMEBODY THIS YEAR?" I had trouble answering it so I'll just reverse the question..."WHO ARE THE PEOPLE WHOM YOU CONSIDER AS BLESSINGS TO YOUR LIFE?"

1. My Family...my source of love and strength. My refuge. My life.
"God has given us no greater blessing than that of belonging to a loving and loyal family - and it will be so, always and forever

2. Big Barks(Anna, Anasan, Chrisse, Flip, Flow, Lou, Mellay, Mares and Dan)...the people who proved to be more than just a kainuman...my support group...my source of inspiration and hope.
"Sometimes you can't believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you're ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too. Even when you're in the dark...even when you're falling

3. Bestfriend Mei and Michelle...for sticking it out with me. My constant confidant. The two people who knows everything about me.
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg, even though she knows that you are slightly cracked."

4. Ria...my source of faith. My prayer warrior...
"Faith is not faith, until there is nothing to hold on to

5. Ching...my travel companion. Shanghai, Galera...and soon Bangkok or Bora naman...For keeping me up on our way home from RCBC. For always wanting to hear my stories.
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an hones friend

6. Jeff, Godwin, Love and Myla...my MBA friends. I wouldn't have passed this school year's challenges without our concerted efforts...for continuously encouraging us to study.
"I get by with a little help from my friends."

7. Tsinays (Aileen, Arle, Kristine, Iris, Meng, and Sons) and their partners (Gerome, Butch, Edison, Kirk and Carter)...my goodie friends. After college, I felt I drifted from these people. I felt we lost the bond. I neglected this people for a time. But now, I am back in the loop again. =)
"No matter where life takes us, some friendships are forever."

8. Lynette and Malou...if not because of them I wouldn't be in ADB now. If not because of them my career in ADB could have ended the same time my contract expired in December 2003. They've always believed in my skills, that I can do more
"Because you believed in me, I believed in me."

I've branded the previous year as a "hell year" for me and I was about to brand this year the same for all my struggles. But after counting my blessings, I realized, its not at all that bad. I forgot to see how beautiful and rewarding this year was. I may have lost some people, but, hey...I gained so much more.

I woke up today feeling light. Looking forward to spending my weekend with the Yuppie Days with the Lord Weekend. I've attended several Weekends like this and I know that I'll have a wonderful time.

I feel that I need to renew my spiritual commitment with the Lord after all that happened in my life this year. I don't wana elaborate cause He knows. I've encountered a lot and it tested my faith in Him and I think I owe Him so much.

Despite my stubborn head, the Lord continues to shower me with blessings. Just this morning, I got a text from my officemate congratulating me for passing the final stage of the recruitment process in ADB. I am now a regular staff of ADB. Though its not yet official, I am still grateful for the people who believes in me. If my mom were still alive, she would be proud of me. I know this is her dream. She was the first person who urged me to apply in ADB. I was skeptic back then thinking that working in ADB will just be a waste of time. But now, although this is far from my undergraduate degree, I feel that it will give me exposure in developmental work. Oh well! Thank you again Lord and Mom!

Another thing to be thankful for is Kuya. He brought me to work this morning. Went out of his comfort zone to wake up early and bring me to work cause I didn't bring my car. What touched me the most during drive to work was when he handed me a gold coin (five peso coin), which I need to bring for the weekend. Muntik na ko maluha! Because since Monday, I've been looking for a shiny five-peso coin and ewan ko, pero parang pag may nakikita ako parang I don't feel complete or fulfilled with it. I don't know. But when he gave me that, yung puso ko parang biglang nag-thump out of happiness. Thanks Kuya.

Kuya, if you're reading this, I want to thank you for loving me the way you do. I am happy with the how things are doing in our family. You don't know how happy I am now that you and Dade are in good terms. Sabi ko kasi dati, I will make a way to settle your differences but I always fail, for fear of rejection siguro. But now, everything's okay. Thank you and I love you.

Here are some of my favorite quotes I got from books I read in my time of solitude...

Isn't this the hardest? I've always believed in giving 100% in relationships. Cause I don't wana find myself years from now, telling someone...Hey you're the one that got away. But then again, there's a risk. To give your 100% is to open up yourself to more hurt. But at least, you can proudly tell yourself..."I loved...I gave it my all. Still I lost. But hey! I'm so much smarter now."

It would be nice, however, to one day meet the one whom you thought got away, go up to him and say, "You almost got away..."

I was browsing through some of my friends home pages, and here's what I found:

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of
people. Ones with whom you shared something
special, ones who will always mean something.
There's the one you first kissed, the one you
first loved, the one you lost your virginity to,
the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're
with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that
person with who everything was great, everything
was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There
was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in
the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the
right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with
someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does
not lie merely in the other person. I can actually
argue that an equal part, or maybe even the
greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.
It has to do with you being ready to settle down
and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond
the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even
realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in
that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're
with, it just doesn't work. Small problems
become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers
simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's
not that you and the person you're with are no
good; it's just that it's not yet right, and
little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And
when this happens you'll be ready to settle down
with someone. He or she may not be the most
perfect, they might not be the brightest star of
romance to ever have burned in your life, but
it'll work because you're ready. It'll work
because it's the right time and you'll make it
work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making
sense of things, and you find yourself to be a
different person. Things are different, your
approach is different, you finally understand who
you are and what you want, and you've become ready
because the time has truly arrived. And mind you,
there's no telling when this day will come .
Hopefully you're single but you could be in a
long-term relationship, you could be married with
three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is
that you've changed, and for some reason, the one
that got away, is the first person you think
about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder,
"What if they were here today?" You'll wonder,
"What if we were together now, with me as I am and
not as I was?" That's what the one that got away
is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your
life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept
the fact that the one that got away, got away.
Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think
your marriage is, this can happen to the best of
us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize
that you're already with the one you're with and
this is just another test of your commitment,
one which will just strengthen your marriage when
you get past it.
Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often,
but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a
"might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's
already married. In which case it's the same
thing. You just have to accept and know that your
memories of that person will probably bring a
nice little smile to your lips in the future when
you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's
different. What do you do if it's not yet too
late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the
very existence of a "one that got away" means that
you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie,
it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of
nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be
"the one that got away" as well for the person who
is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it
won't make a difference. If the timing is finally
right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and
you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great
feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone.
...
"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

So there, in case you find "the one who almost got away" take that risk and tell him/her. Do I have a "the one who got away"? I don't think so.