The Story of my Life

I am so loving Grey's Anatomy. I just finished watching the first season and if it weren't for the hassle of rush-hour-commuting, I would have stayed up an hour longer just to get the second season starting . I need to finish the second season tonight as the third season's first episode will air tomorrow.

Watching Grey's Anatomy made me wonder, why the hell did I never want to be a doctor? First off, I am not a great fan of Science. Never was and never will be. I don't even know the difference between a bacteria and a virus. And of course, there's that difficulty in memorizing scientific names. In short, I don't have what it takes to be a doctor.

Anyway, here's my favorite quote from GA:

Meredith Grey: A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

I had two groups of friends in high school. One with whom I spent my freshman and sophomore years with and another one whom I've shared the last two years. Of the the two, the first group is the one I hardly ever see. Since we graduated from high school, I could count with one hand the number of times I've seen them and last week was one of those few occasions.

The dinner was set as Pasto, Fort. Yuma and I decided to go there together. She picked me up from work by cab. But we had to take another cab from Mega to Fort as the driver didn't want to face the traffic along EDSA. After queuing for almost 30 minutes at the Taxi lane along Megastrip, we decided to take matters into our own hands. We sought for rescue.

"Hi Ruth. San ka na?"
"Hi Claire, sa bahay pa."
"Nag-didinner ka na ba? Hindi ka ba pupunta sa dinner?"
"Hindi ko kasi alam pano pumunta dun eh." <---Lame! Lame! Lame! "So hindi ka na pupunta?!?!" "Aaahhhhmmm..." "Pwede ka naman naming turuan kung gusto mo. Or pwede ring magtanong sa mga marunong pumunta dun? Ano sa tingin mo?" "Hehehehe...sige." "Actually, ang isa pang rason kung bakit kami tumawag ay para sabihing, pwede mo ba kaming daanan sa Megamall? Ang haba ng pila sa taxi eh. hehehe"

Ruth decided to go and getch us. So while waiting for her, Yuma and I decided to take our dinner. Yuma talked about her detective skills and the action plan she did to prove that her boyfriend was cheating on her. She also told stories about the guy she's currently dating. Yuma is a self-proclaimed jologs and this guy she's currently dating is the complete opposite. Parati daw syang nosebleed pag kasama at kausap itong guy na to. One time, she said, the guy invited her to go out...

"Ang lakas na ng ulan dito, baka lumakas din ulan dyan. Umalis ka na kaya diyan. Now na."
"Wait wait...slow down. I don't understand what your saying. What did you just say?"
"I said, I think you should take a bath now."
(Very accurate translation huh.)

And we both burst with laughter. We owned Sbarro that night. Took no regard about the people around us. We laughed till our stomach ached. The surprising thing is, they're still dating and Yuma is just waiting for the guy to be disgusted. :-)

It was good meeting up with them again. It brought good memories of our teenage years. The story of Morgue's I-saw-birds-and-stars-episode. Yuma's famous lines --Don't be judgenamental! and Kayo ang backout singers ko ah. Cherry's swave maniac moves. And Leslie's and Ruth's volleyball skills.

Change is inevitable, as they say. It is the only constant thing in this world. 11 years did a lot to us. It's just comforting to know that the good things remained as good as they were, even better.
Ruth haven't lost her warmth. Leslie is still Ms. Prim and Proper. Cherry remains the female counter part of "Maginoo pero medyo bastos". Morgue is still Daddy's girl. Yuma haven't lost her sense of humor, she could give Rufa Mae a run for her money...and me, they think I am still the Manang Claire they know.

The night, though short, was a good one. I hope this will be the start of a more regular get together.

My hormones are acting up and my mood swings have gone from bad to worse...

Bad day.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Because my birthday is fast approaching, I've listed gifts I want for my birthday. A friend of mine said you have to list down what you want in a partner, pray hard for it and believe that it will be given to you, in His perfedt time. So I thought, maybe if I listed what I want for my birthday, it will also be given to me (whoever from my friends are reading this...AVOID THE RUSH, SHOP NOW!).

After listing down the items, I grouped it according to the degree of likeness or desire I have for each of them.

Things I really want but couldn't afford it even after a hundred years
1. A brand new car. I want to get Ford Escape.
2. A townhouse at Enclave. A friend of mine lives there. It doesn't have a big compound but the floor area of each unit is just right. Good enough for a family of four. :-)

Things I NEED but couldn't afford it NOW
1. I need a bag where I can put all my stuff when I play badminton, Yonex Thermal badminton bag is perfect for that! I have having to carry my office bag and racket in one shoulder and my sports bag (where my shoes and clothes are) on the other.
2. Perhaps my smashes and drops will improve with the use of a new Yonex Muscle Power badminton racket. :-D
3. I trip in Taraflex cour with my Air Max rubbershoes so a new Mizuno badminton shoes will be perfect!
4. I feel guilty not being able to offer any shuttlecock when I play. I would love to share my blessings to others...bring in a tube of RSL shuttlecock.
5. I'm not always sweaty you know. I also try to look good so I would need a MAC Studio Fix Foundation (NW30).
6. Dry-fit shirt
7. Sports shorts
8. I need to finish my OCE and a new 13" MacBook will get me going.
9. I love Cams (IXUS60). I don't want to see scratches around her. I need a house for her.

Things I want for fashion's sake
1. Havaianas High (Black) size 34-35 or 35-36 please.
2. Brown-Gold Hava
3. Bermuda shorts
4. Charriol ring
5. Lacoste white backpack
6. Body show blusher
7. Denim jacket
8. White sports jacket
9. iPod Nano armband
10. Technomarine watch (Butterfly Pave)

Things I want to pass time with
1. Tribute to APO CD
2. Angel's Fall by Nora Roberts

I was admitted at St. Lukes the other day after the doctors suspected I have an inflammed appendix. He ordered I undergo a series of tests before he recommends surgery.

Thank God, all tests ruled out appendicitis. But the pelvic ultrasound found something else. I have a 2.6cm cyst in my right ovary which ruptured the night I experienced pain. My ob-gyne was not alarmed with the result so I knew it was not serious. She said no surgery is required for my case unless I wanted to. Of course, who in her right mind, would want to go under knife?

I looked it up from the ever-reliable www.wikipedia.org and found out that if the cyst persist beyond two or three cycles, it could be more serious. I'm going to see her again next week and I'm hoping there'd be progress. For now, the red alert can be turned off.

Anyway, on a more lighter note I have a new word to use...

Doc: How are you?
Me: Better doc.
(and went on to do his routine examination.)
Doc: Have you passed a flatus?
Me: Huh?!
Doc: Umutot ka na ba? Fart?
Me: Opo. (I wanted to say, that's my hobby doc. Don't you know my friends and I are the Fart girls?) hehehe

Met with my college friends last Saturday and played our own version of scategories after dinner.

Have a look at Sonia's winning entries:

Letter: Y
Category: Electronic Device
Answer: Youghart Maker

Letter: Y
Category: Baby things
Answer: Yaya's bag

Letter: T
Category: Things you see in the classroom
Answer: Teacher

Letter: I
Category: Things you see in the bathroom
Answer: Ihi

Kawawang Sean.

I promised myself before that every year, I should be able to go to a new place, one that I have'nt been to before. Thanks to Cebu Pacific's P1.00 per seat sale, I had the chance to go to Bohol. So on Aug 9-12, off went Ching, Jerome and I to the beautiful city of Tagbilaran.

Bohol is the home for the smallest monkey in the world, the 1,688 Chocolate Hills, and now it is also the home of the largest python snake in captivity, 23 feet (and growing).

My friends said I have n0t been to Bohol if I don't have a picture with the famous Tarsier. And here it is ...

We also met Prony, the Python. He was named after his captor, Supronio. They must have spent so much precious time thinking of what to name him. Marimar, the care-taker, entertained us with her wit and charm (he's gay). Prony is 23 feet long and 200kgs heavy. That's about 4x my weight and almost 5x my height. He could, literally, swallow me whole.


The last stop of our day tour around the City of Tagbilaran is the Chocolate Hills. The weather was nice to us, though it was drizzling every now and then. To see the magnificent of the Chocolate hills, you have to climb 214 steps. 30 steps after, I was already catching my breath. I guess I'll have forget about mountain climbing, I could never make it. Thank the High Heavens, I made it to the top.

I wonder where my next trip will be...hhhmmm...Palawan sounds like a good idea.

A couple of months ago, I participated in a Volleyball tournament here in ADB. Also in the same month, I joined the Badminton Tournament organized by ADB Badminton Club as a send-off for members who were retiring. I lost in both events. It didn't matter much because I was in it for fun and experience. I'm not the competitive type, so winning or losing is not at all a big deal.

I joined another badminton tournament a couple of weeks ago and to my surprise, my partner and I won the championship title. You can't imagine how ecstatic I am because this is the first I've received a medal in my entire life. =P

THE FOLLOWING IMAGES CANNOT BE VIEWED BY MINORS. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS REQUIRED.

We had our traditional shower party for the bride-to-be last Friday held at Butch and Kris' humber abode in Quezon City. We feasted on Beef Stew, Roasted Chicken, Kare-Kare (my favorite!), and Calamares, the star for the night. Of course, Kris served the luscious chocolate cake from Quiapo as dessert. Sarap!

The marrying spell that struck my college barkada will officially expire on 30 July. Meryl, the last in the roster of marrying Tsinays, will finally tie the knot next week with lawyer-boyfriend, Kirk. The big question is, who will be the next to join the bandwagon? Arle, Ge, Aileen or me? Place your bets now.

A good friend of mine sent me this as a reply to my forwarded e-mail. I am a scarred girl, if you haven't noticed, and every word that was spoken here have been in my thoughts for the past several years. Just thought I'd share it with you...

SCARRED PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL
by Rev. Charles Cooke

Man Speaks:
I've seen a number of good movies, Lord.
Like Romeo and Juliet
They love of young people, at least in this movie, is beautiful
So simple, so total, so uncomplicated!

They seem so natural
So free in their emotions
Unrestrained in their actions.

I wish I could be like that, Lord
But I can't be!
Why is it so?
I've been hurt, Lord!
I have trusted and been betrayed many times.
I have loved and received nothing in return.
I have tried hard to care and failed often.
I have shared my secrets and heard them whispered to others.
I have been warm and received a cold shoulder.
I've been through it, Lord!
I have fallen on my face.
I have banged my shins.
I've been bruised!
Look, Lord! I'm all covered with scars!

The Lord speaks:
Maybe you have not yet understood enough!
Maybe you still haven't learned that human life is like that.
All saints are scarred.

Young love isn't the highest form of human love.
The highest love comes from scarred people.
I know many people who stop loving so they won't be hurt again.
But those people who do start over again, who continue despite of all,
who leave themselves open to the possibility of hurt again.
These people are able to love in a gentle way...a more understanding way...a richer way.

Many responds:
I think I know what you mean, Lord.
I've met people like that and knowing them gives me great courage.
The greatest people are those who continue to love with all their scars.
I like scarred people, Lord. They are beautiful.

1. I ought to be reviewing my paper in preparation for my OCE but my mind is somewhere else so I guess, I will have to postpone that in the hope that tomorrow I will get my mind back on track.

2. Yes, I'm taking my OCE. After being out of school for a year, I have finally decided to knock my head off. The OCE talk has become a nuisance, primarily because I have run out of excuses why I haven't taken mine. I also had a chance encounter with my Professor two weeks ago and when he asked me why I haven't finished it, I couldn't come up with a valid excuse. Plus, when I tried to access my online student account, I have been listed as INACTIVE. Gggrrr...

3. I have just finished reading The Kite Runner, a novel by Khaled Hosseini. I have originally bought this book as a going-away present for my ex-boss and have no intention of getting a copy for myself, but after hearing the bookstore manager's review, I had goose bumps and I knew right away that I should get one. The next day, I went back to Ink and Stone and grabbed one for myself. It's a story about hope and forgiveness between father and sons, and friends. Highly recommended.

4. After reading The Kite Runner, I'm now into a lighter novel - Confessions of a Shopaholic. And thanks to this book, I think I will postpone getting a visa for another year, or maybe until I learn to manage my finances well (read as: NEVER).

5. God is Good. The other day my wallet only had a 20-peso bill for a resident and my gas tank is pumping its last breath. I was so worried how I could make it to work the next day given all these impediments. Even if I decided to take the train, I can only afford a one-way ticket. What if I walk from Ortigas to Pag-Asa? It's been a stormy week; I don't think I'll make it alive at home. Or I could take a leave, sick leave, emergency leave? How pathetic. God must have felt my desperation, because that night I got money more than enough to fill my tank. Thank you. Thank you.

This is the last photo I have of her (taken two weeks before her...)

I had my much anticipated date with Superman last Friday, and I must say I am still enamored by Brandon Routh's pretty face. His face is annoyingly perfect and you couldn't help but admire it every time the camera zooms in. I never did enjoy watching Superman (nor StarWars) probably because I was too young to appreciate it back then or simply because I'm not into movies then. I have probably seen one ore two films but not a single one stuck on my mind. The only vivid memory I have of him was Christopher Reeve wearing those ridiculous red trunks over blue tights. But seeing Brandon Routh in that suit gave Superman a whole new image to me. =P

The movie capitalized on the things that made Superman a big hit in the past years; well at least that's what I heard from Paolo and Monpete, my Superman-fanatic friends (when I say fanatic I mean they've read or watched all Superman article, comics, magazine, and movie, and they know every little thing about Superman). The movie was a good combination of digital effects, great talent, and classic stunts. As soon as you hear the famous Superman soundtrack it will make your heart pound in excitement. Monpete was literally shaking at the height of Superman's action. He almost forgot to breathe...hahahaha. Paolo, on the other hand, couldn't take the smile off his face when we got out of the movie house.

Don't get me wrong, but I think there's nothing in the film that we haven't seen or expected from the man of steel. The film simply magnified the innate powers of Superman, what marveled me were the brilliant use of digital effects. The way they moved him around space was flawless. Some scenes were hilarious but it all makes sense if you think about it. Another thing I find rather amusing is the scene where I saw his trademark curly bangs untouched after saving the world. I mean, hello, wala bang hangin sa labas? Flying in and out of space, and moving faster than a speeding bullet could mess up your hair big time. Hehehehe...and oh, there is a twist at the latter part of the movie and the events that unfolded it were kinda amusing too. =)

I'm so pleased with the movie and I guess, it was worth everything we went through that night...the long queue at the ticket counter, the two hours waiting time (we were there at 9pm but the tickets we got were for the 11:20 screening), expensive movie ticket, traffic jam in Araneta (it was Bench Fever night and all parking areas were full), and the sore feet I had when I got home. It was a great movie, though I wish I had seen it in IMax. Hats off to the Director and to the Cast.

Whenever I'd come across that line before, I was so sure no one from my past would qualify. But a lot has changed in four years and I'm saying goodbye to my Mr. Close Enough.

2002 was probably the worst year of my life. I lost my mom, my job and got involved with an absolute cheater. I was drowning myself of depression. It was a year-long struggle, probably longer. I couldn't wait for it to end so when I saw an opportunity, I grabbed it. A former boyfriend proposed marriage. He was my friend of seven years and my mom loved him. I believed it was the only right thing happening in my life. I accepted it thinking that, somehow, things will be better. Indeed, things started looking up. I felt stronger and I had more zest for life. But one day I woke up and realized I wasn't ready to get married. I was just starting to live my life the way I want to and getting hitched was the last thing on my mind. So I screwed up. It was unforgivable but he forgave me anyway.

Since then I've been in and out of relationships. Not one lasted for more than a year. I guess it was nature's way of getting back at me. He had relationships too but I never saw him seriously committed with someone. He's based overseas and all those years I never, for one instant, felt he detached himself from me. Whenever there was a major event happening in my life, he was there. He never missed my birthday. He made his presence felt in little ways he knows how. Whenever he's in Manila, he always made it a point that I get invited to most of his gimmicks, most of which I declined.

When he came back November of last year, he visited me at home. I was greeted with a tight hug, the kind that will make you wonder what he's been thinking. I was stunned so I just stood there motionless and cracked silly jokes to lighten up the awkward moment. I was in the mood to be bitchy that night so I let him do the talking and pretended I was listening. He noticed I wasn't showing a bit of interest so he left in less than 30 minutes.

He spent the holidays with his family here in Manila and that gave us more opportunity to spend time together. We had dinner a couple of times. We had our traditional drinking spree on New Year's Eve. On our last gimmick together he said goodbye in a very strange why. Said he was coming back in July but that I wouldn't see him anymore. I was too proud to ask why though I know he was up to something.

He was getting married.

We had a chance to talk before his civil wedding. It was the kind of talk I had been waiting for from him for so many years. The talk that I had expected we'd have over dinner...or when he brought me home after New Year. The talk I wished he had initiated when I got that warm hug from him...all those times I had waited for us to talk that way. No inhibitions. No expectations. The kind of talk where you unfold yourself to the person that matters most to you. The kind of talk where you take all the risk, you leap and hope you can fly (HITCH). Things could have been different if we had talked this way before.

Listening to him opened my mind to a lot of things. I began to understand why he kept me within his circle despite everything I've done. I began to appreciate why he worked so hard to give his family the life they are enjoying now. I began to understand why he kept calling the morning I got out of the hospital...I understood what unconditional love is.

The past flashed before me and I felt more unworthy. How could you snatch away someone five days from his wedding? How could you fight for someone when you know someone else is waiting to spend the rest of her life with him? I couldn't take him away from the one person whom I know could give him what I'm incapable of giving. He was better off. What right do I have to own him or to stop him when all I've done was take him for granted? The signs were everywhere and I missed all of it.

Learning of his marriage was an odd mixture of grief and relief. It was the sad realization that you will never really appreciate what you have until they're gone and the relief in knowing that for once, I did something unselfish for him.

Last night I greeted an old on his birthday but instead of a warm thanks I got a who-is-this-please reply which spoiled half of my day (let's hope I forget about it when I come back from lunch).

Okay, let me explain why I'm flaring up...I've known this guy friend of mine for more than 10 years, even before they got married and had kids. On their wedding, they asked my mom to be one of their Principal Sponsors. Also on their wedding, I sang while she was marching down the aisle...this song, by the way, was supposed to be my wedding march song but since we're friends, I suggested it and let them use it.

So what could she possibly have against me to repeatedly delete my number from his husband's phone? Yes, she deleted it. Her husband admitted it to me. Oh, did I say she didn't want me to be their child's Godmother? They have three kids now and not one of them is my inaanak. I know my friend fought for it on their first child. So on the second child, I thought I was one of the ninangs...I guess she raised hell because I'm still just a friend and not a kumare.

I've had enough of her already so this morning when I got that message, I lost it and expressed how utterly annoyed I was. I told him I won't text him until his wife gets her head straight...which, I guess translates to forever.

I recently bought my very first digital camera and an iPod Nano. For months, I've been contemplating on whether to invest in electronic gadgets and finally it's here. I had first thought of buying an iBook but when I found out how much it costs, I realized I can only afford to eat toasted bread and jam, and walk to and from work for the rest of year just so I can get one for myself.

I'm not a techie person so the last thing I have in my "things to buy" are electronics gadgets. The furthest I can go to being techie is updating my cellphone every now and then...actually, not even. My N70 replaced my old phone which I had for three years. I used to change phones annually but at some point, I got pissed at Nokia launching new models twice a year, I guess. It burned my savings for several years and I've had enough of it!

Giving birth to my two babies which, I named Cams and Sabrina, rendered me sleepless the whole night...and this morning, I did all the needful to make Sabrina useful starting tonight. I'm so looking forward to the things we can do together...taking pictures at random, listening to my favorite music while working out, going to places together etc.

Thanks Ching for taking time to find my babies!

Ritchie had a car accident three weeks ago. As a result, all our weekend plans were cancelled because one, we were gonna use his car and second, he was not in the mood to plan for the getaway.

Its all good. We resigned to stay in Manila over the weekend and just meet up on Saturday. But I think the accident hit Ritchie too hard in the head, he invited us to his house for dinner and drinks, all on him, to compensate for what has happened. So who are we to say no to this invitation...especially if Vodka is in the house.

We downed 1 liter of Absolute that night. Funny thing happened on our way out. Paolo parked his car outside the gate near Ritchie's house. When we were on our way out, around 3am, we saw that the pedestrian gate was chained and padlocked. Therefore, to exit you have to take the long way and that means a 15-minute walk at 3am and with alcohol running down your blood vessels. Forget it!

We ended up climbing the fence, about 6 feet tall. Flow, who was too scared, did it anyway. I did too. I used to do that when I was little, climbing the fence that divides our house and SM City. Then Rome crossed. When it was Jerome's time, he hit the fence too hard on his first step that it broke the chain...GATE OPEN.